Dear Ganenette,
In honour of the new year at gan (nursery / dayschool for you non-Hebrew speakers), here is a list of 10 things I wish I had the guts to say to your face:
- If you’re going to call me up at work demanding that I come and pick up my child because she has a temperature, please, please, please first actually take her temperature with a thermometer to confirm that she actually does have a fever. The back of your hand is not a recognised, medical instrument.
- If my daughter is cranky the first week back at gan, it is not a sign that she has swine ‘flu: it is a sign that she had a great time at home with her Mummy and Abba for two weeks and would rather be at the beach or swimming pool (who wouldn’t?)
- Why oh why oh why oh why do I have to buy books for your gan? Do I get them back when she leaves?
- Why oh why oh why oh why do I have to provide you with 12 packs of wet wipes and two tubes of nappy rash cream? Do I not pay you enough?
- Why oh why oh why oh why do I have to contribute towards gifts for your staff for New Year / Hannukah / Passover / L’ag B’Omer / the end of the year. Yes, they do a wonderful job and deserve recognition, but isn’t it actually your job to take care of your staff?
- Why oh why oh why oh why do I have to pay you for an entire month when you only work one week in August?
- Why oh why oh why oh why do you then charge us another NIS 850 for an extra week of kaytana / summer camp in August when I’ve already paid you for the whole month? What other field allows you to charge twice for the same product?
- Why oh why oh why oh why do I need to buy a present for the gan when it is my kid’s birthday? Surely, you should be buying her a present on her birthday?
- If another kid grabs my kid’s toy or bites her and makes her cry, it is not my fault because she is too delicate and no, I do not need to teach her to hit back. You need to make sure that the kids at gan learn to share and that biting is wrong (and of course us parents need to reinforce that at home).
- A full nappy, hands caked in play do and paint, and a face smeared with a combination of chocolate, snot and bamba is not how I wish to find my kid when I come pick her up at 4.
But alas, these are the things I will never have the guts to say to your face. Instead, I will keep smiling and buying books / toys / wet wipes / gifts etc and always the best ones, never opting for the cheap option so that you don’t take it out on my kid or think I’m a terrible parent.
Sincerely,
Mummy.
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