This week has not been bad so far. I’m slowly getting into a routine for studying. It’s a lot of reading, but i enjoy it. I love studying about the body, and diseases. I’m also taking psychology as an elective. It’s sooo interesting. I have to write a reasearch paper/presentation on some topics, and i’m hoping that bipolar disorder will be one of those topics. I’d love to do some more reasearch, and get to know myself better. I don’t think my bp is that bad, but it has definitely gotten worse over the years. It would be nice to break some of the common misconceptions about people with bipolar disorder. Most people think we are “crazy”.
Anyway, I’ve been trying to get to my studying so that every day i review whatever i went over in class, but i havent gotten to that point yet! I will over the weekend. For example, If i have Medical Terminology, and Anatomy and Physiology one day. I want to come home, and read and study about that. It will be fresh in my mind, so if i re-read it.. I’ll learn it better. However, I’ve been backed up with my reading. I didn’t really study over the weekend. I spent the day at my cousins house. I know.. BAD BAD. I did read at her house though.. like 3 pages! We have 2 classes together!
Oh, I’ve decided that i’m going to stay at Mandl and finish here first. I really need to prove to myself that i can finish something. Just having a degree will make me feel so much better about myself, and then i’ll Definitely feel capable of going on to nursing school. Besides, It’s only 10 more classes that i have to take before i graduate. Approximately 11 months from now. That’s not that far.
In other news, here is something that I’ve been wondering about. Why is it that some people are so attracted to bad relationships? There are people that can see that some guys/girls are no good from the start, but they stick with them. Most hope that these people will change. I’ve learned that you cant CHANGE someone. (Not if they are unwilling, which is mostly the case). They wont change because you want them to.
So why is it that when guys/girls treat the other person in the relationship badly, that people stick around? Why is it so hard to let go of someone that CLEARLY isn’t right for you? Do people like the drama in their life? Why is it that when there is a certain person that keeps coming around that you might have had feelings for in the past, but you don’t anymore, keep bugging you but then you keep them around? You could easily Ignore the person, change your number, block them on messengers, or even get a new messenger.. but you don’t? Why?
I’ve experienced all of this, but only ONCE. There was a person that was not right for me, but i stuck around anyway. There is also someone who kept coming around that i had feelings for still, but not like i used to. Everytime, they came around i’d go nuts. I hated that he kept coming around, but i didn’t do anything to stop it. I’ve only experienced these things ONCE. I learn from my mistakes. I don’t like going through these things, and so when i have a bad relationship, or i know that someone isn’t right for me. I let them go. I learned, that if you don’t, you’ll just have a hard time later on.
I also see girls picking the WRONG GUYS! For example, they tend to pick guys who aren’t in school, or trying to go to school. They still live with their moms, or don’t work. If they do work, they work in something that isn’t a stable job, and possibly not going to be good to maintain a family in the future. They tend to pick guys that are more interested in being with a bunch of other woman instead of committing to one. OH! They pick guys who do drugs/sell drugs. Ghetto guys! That talk in slang, and guys that are more interested in sex. Gah. They usually think,”If he has sex with me that means he has feelings for me!” Wrong! Guys don’t need to be attached to a woman to have sex with them. For women, its much harder to distinguish Sex, from love. Come on, how many times have you seen a girl that has just a “friends with benefits”, who is the one that ends up getting feelings for someone? The woman. It’s bad to think that by having sex with the guy, he’ll like you more. He won’t. To men, sex is sex.
SO WHY DO THEY PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH THIS ANGUISH?!
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