“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” — Gail Sheehy
Freedom from school, finally!
And on to having no free time for the next few weeks to come … O_o
This weekend I’m off to a friend’s cottage; he’s having a get-together of a group of friends. The reason I’m posting about this in this blog and not a more vanilla-based one? It’s a group of kinky people. Now I have definitely been associating myself with my kinky friends more often, seeing them every week or two, so I can say I’ve been immersing myself in the kink-culture a lot more as of late. But this is a weekend away with a group of them, and vanillas need not apply.
I’m not planning to play or anything, but I just find I’m getting comfortable around this group. I’m coming out of my skin a bit more, being more vocal and less inhibited about what I think or what I’m into. However I’m slightly nervous that people might decide to play, and the fact that I am not a voyeur will possibly work against me in this case. Enter discomfort and awkwardness, especially since my usual support system will not be there.
Bah, I shouldn’t be worrying about these things, I should just relax and go with the flow. Within reason, ahem.
On a similar vein, I’ll likely be going to my first play party next month. *little excited bounce* The same friend who invited me to his cottage is going to be celebrating his birthday and the post-dinner locale is a fet-night. It is a slight squee-worthy thing for me because, though I have been to play parties and fet nights before, it’s the first one in which I’m actually somewhat excited. Again, not to play, but it gives me an excuse to dress up and wear my pretty pretty corset.
One thing about the situation that I’m on the fence about — inviting a friend. As I mentioned in a prior post my random co-worker might actually not be so vanilla. A part of me considers inviting him to (a) introduce him to the local scene, (b) have a security blanket of sorts, and (c) have someone to drive me so I don’t have to. But on the other hand, I don’t want to invite him because I don’t want to mislead him into thinking this is something I want to explore with him. Also watching him hook up with one of my friends might be a little .. weird. Over the last few weeks I’ve re-thought the ‘friends with benefits’ situation and I don’t know if it’s something I really want. I’m not sure what page he’s on, but that’s how I feel. I know I need to talk to him about it, but since we haven’t hung out since I’ve decided this I figure I can put it off a little longer … but yeah. So it makes me a little more comfortable with the idea of inviting him along, but introduces the possibility of misleading him. Conundrum.
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